Tension

Feel like crying & screaming & trying to get out of this fear....
Fear of FAILING

I'm scared.

REAL SCARED!!!

This whole tension in me is really burning.. I know that it's not a good start to do so... But its the emotions in me...

Maybe there's so much going on with me that I just don't know where to start... This fear of failing is here in me right now... I don't wanna make the same mistakes twice...

It started like this. I was Econs & there seems to be lot going on with econs.. I know I sound weird but that's what I'm feeling. I feel that back then while I was mugging it for the promo's last year, esp for that Keynesian thingy, I suddenly forgot abt it.. I mean, am I suffering for short term memory or something. Even for A/C, i totally forgot what's ratio and all that... What am I suffering from?

Or is it a mental block? Probably this whole tension of the 'A's can't make me relax & see a wider picture... I really don't know how to get out from this mental state...

And I really don't know why I've been writing alot lately... I'm bringing my notebook everywhere I go.. I mean I observe ppl in sch & I write abt their behavior.. God! It makes me feel like I'm writing a thesis on SOCIALOGY or something...

Yah I know that one of my NY resolutions was to be a wise me but IS OBSERVING PEOPLE wise????? Studying abt their behavior doesn't sound wise....

Whatever that is happening to me right now, I hope that I'll get over it soon.. As in SUPER SOON... My test's comming up in March... Argh!!!!!!!! Gotta keep up with my resolutions.....

Initially, I thought of having a chalet at Pasir Ris on my b'day, which coincidently happen to be on Chinese New Year eve but it turns out that it's been fully booked... Blamed it on my dad... Told him abt it like 3 mths ago & he forgot abt it... Whatever it is, I'll update u guys if there's any changes....

Hey I gotta go. Got loads of sch work piling up on my desk. Catch ya all later... Muacks!!!