Freaking Monday Mrng...

Yesterday it was super FREAKY


Firstly, thanks Nor for helping me out last night.... I really needed someone to help me last night....

So here it goes.....


I was happily fiddling with my handphome last night around 11.30 pm last night.... After studying INFLATION last night, I guess my fingers were a little unattentive.... So I accidentally dialled Darwin's HP no.... Knowing from the past 9 mths experience that he wasn't using that no for ages..... So as a person knowing that, I'll just let the phone hang up on its own....


But this time it was ringing...... So I very cheeky, I used my home phone, which is a private number, to really call him...... And he picked up...... And I quickily hung up....

I know I was stupid when I was doing that..... D!!

And you knoe what, he called my hp later.... It buzzed a few secs before it went t missed call mode..... I then msg him..... Asking him who it was who called me......D's acting STUPID..... Super stupid.....

Instead of replying the msg, he called me again.....

I didn't pick the phone up........

I msged him again to ask who it was......
Never reply.....

So I called him.... I spoke in my coarse just woke up voice....... I kept saying 'hello!' & he was saying 'hello!' too..... Then he said' May I know who this is' in a firm harsh tone... And I hung up...

I really really freaked out then... with a shaky body, I called my bestfriend in the whole wide world... Noryn....

Talked to her about what happened.... And I was still shaking when I spoke to her....

Her advise to me was to call him and apologise...

God knows how I got the power to call him & I did..... Unfortunately he didn't pick up.... So I left him a msg instead.... And I went to sleep....

Honestly, I didn't know why on earth I was shaking....... And I told myself to pay attention when I scroll the phonebook in the handphone..... And when the whole thing happened, a hundred and one things were in my mind... What if that person was gonna stalk me after last night's incident... I mean, kalau dier 'antar' ke..... I'll die on the spot...... I mean, she's capable of doing such stuff & so why not these?

And I felt like telling him, " GO FUCK IN HELL" and telling her to shut the fuck up if she intrudes in our conversation.. Felt like telling her, " SHUT THE FUCK UP U BITCH! THIS DOESEN'T CONCERNS U CUZ IT HAPPENED BEFORE YOU 'CREPT' INTO THE PICTURE" Too bad I couldn't say it cuz it didn't happen....

Hey I think I gotta go... Mr Econs is calling me.... Catch ya later alligator......

TOODLES

Hmm......

Hmmm....


Right now I'm in the mists of reading my report... Or should I say, trying to get to my report.... And I've got this urge to write on my blog....



Uhmm..... Wonderin' how my weekend went.... Well Sat night, I slept till abt 2am. I guess I was too busy with my Econs date that I forgot all about the time.. And the next mrng I had to wake up about 5.30 am for that walkathon.... Stupid.....



Anyway the drive at 7am in the mrng was good... There wasn't that much cars..... Hey, my parking is getting better though..... Still asking my dad whether I could drive to school..... Unfortunately he hasn't give me the green light.....



I mean, before I got my licence, he's been bugging me to get them so that he wouldn't need to drive & look at it now.... He still wants to be with me cuz he said that I've not picked up the skills... Whatever it is, all I know is that when its my turn to get a car, I won't need to pay a high insurance fee cuz I've gotten my licence a long time ago. ( Considering the age that I gotten my licence)



I mean, if I drive a car, I'll save my transportation bills.... Can go out WITH THE CAR... Besides being the new DRIVER for the family, I can go home at a later hour... No need to catch the last train or pay the additional midnight sur-charge.... But I think the best one of all is that I would have better freedom......



People been asking me to have a 21st b'dae party... For me, its BAD idea..... Super bad... but then again I think I'll have a chalet only for my closest frens.... Thats all...



Hey...


I'm back......



This time it ain't my break.. My accounts ended at 4.3opm. It was totally mind blogging... Sahz, Tini, Amu & me were draining our brain power to the MAX!!!! Totally.... I thought of studying later but then, I'm thinking twice.... I think my accounts lesson just now had me moodless.... If that word ever existed....



As I was saying just now, my b'dae...... 21st.... I don't know... Maybe I'll have a chalet... INVITED ONES ONLY..... I know that I'm being mean but hey when ur 21, u'ld wanna spend it with your loved ones..... Not that I'ld know that I'll still be attached by then..... <*UHMMM*>



I suddenly have this urge to hit the books... I know it sounds nerdy but hey I gotta study..... By hook or by crook... Only 2 weeks till my first paper..... ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!



Jo: Hey girl, I'm just writting normal stuff... Nothing special... Anyway, thanks for reading... I'm happy that ur enjoying it.... Tell Jed I'll say HI! And I've figured out what 'DOG' should I use for OP.... The balloon figurines. ( I know that U'll be thinking that D's NUTZ. I think I am though) ...... I know I'm nuts but hey, I'm gonna make it as impressive as ever..... But if I ever need a real dog, Jed's wanted..... Khekhekhekhe!!!!!!!!!!!



I think I gotta go now... My date with Mr ECONOMICS is starting soon....



Tooddles

Peeps here....

Dr
Cr

I just finished my accounts....


Kinda boring now... With Salid, Soli, Azar & Suhuf..... I'm listening to them talking.... You gotta imagine..... IMAGINE..........


Ok... They are going off now... Ok now......... Better......



I'm kinda blur on what to write... Yes, D's blank.... I guess the migraine is getting on me........


Tomorrow, well i'm gonna study... Oh yah, msg Wan.... Ask him if he's free tomorrow.... To pass me the disc...

Uhmmmm.......... What else, oh, ya, go to the pet restaurant... And finish up up the roll.. I guess I've not been taking pics for some while....


K, I think I'm super dry right now.... Can't write..... Catch ya soon..................

Tooddles.........

k.... This is gonna be a fast one....

In the library now... No MLAO lessons cuz cikgu's not around...

Right now, just wanting to get wat I wanted.... Get on my blog...... My plan for tomorrow was to study but then I heard that there's gonna be Accounts EPS.... So, I don't know how to study...

I've got no more fitness..... CCAs are on hold.... I read something about pilates today.... Well, I think I've just fallen in love with it.... Quite in love.... It made me remember about my old gym class..... Hey, I went thru alot while I was 8..... Went to gymnastics... And I'm grateful that I was in it cuz if it was not for that , I'll be a fat ass who isn't flexible..... Anyway, the stuff that they do look kinda similar to gym training back then....... Supporting your body with your back & other stuff which strengthens your body......

Right now, I'm hoping that Mr Heikal could implement it in our FITNESS slot or something. I mean the last time we had KICK-BOXING.....


There goes the bell... Gotta go................

TODDLES.................

Its just those rainy days...

Yup....


I'm back.. Back from the Parliment House that is.... Its a really interesting place for one to get some extra facts for GP... Definately..... And while we were in the bus, Irwan wanted to SABO some of the guys but it back-fired.. The bus driver actually switch on the B'day song.... That all of us just started laughing.... Big time....


Anyway, last night, I went to Mdm Siti's place.... She looked really bad....... I mean, she's in total shockness.... Muka terperanjat..... And she looked pale & tired & sad...


The moment I got home, I gave Amu a buzz.... We talked till ard 11pm... I guess neither one of us were in the mood to study...


Today it was raining super heavily... And the first thing that I thought of was cuddling in bed with a good book... Yeah I know that cuddling with your loved one would be better but I'm UNATTACHED.... Remember? Yeah so I'ld rather cuddle in a good book with either a coffee or hot chocolate.... I got caught in the rain today... Gotta hit the showers soon..........

Anyway, I'll write more tomorrow.... Kinda buzy ritght not..... In the mist of doing some stuff... And I gotta get home.... I got caught in the rain....

Hezwan: I'll give u a buzz aight? Maybe at night or so.... Anything I'll msg u k.........

Gotta reply from Lin

Hey....

I know that its been quite a while since I've written an entry.... Right now I'm doing lots of revision. Especially for Econs... I don't know but I'm having this sudden liking for Econs... I don't know why.... I think something killed my liking for MGT... Or maybe Mdm Siti isn't there to teach me, motivate & scold me... And she's not in school today... Something happened to her.... I really feel like crying right now...

I got a reply from Lyn.... Hey girl, Ur linked..... And my tag-board is in shits now.... Don't know what wrong with it.... And mine is not the only one, Jo's too.... Argh!! Sorry Lyn, I can't reply ur msg.... tag-board sakit....

I was reading Lyn's blog just now..... She was talking about marriage... OH MI GOD!!!! I mean, u just imagine, the last time we met was when we were in Sec 4... After our papers & we met at ECPS.. And right now, talking about marriage... Yeah I know that her mom's just saying it but it unESCAPABLE.... And as for me, its scary... It was like yesterday that we were in P6...... Those were the days.... Time pass super duper fast....


Last night I was msging Hezwan. The first thing that I feel is that he's totally not himself... He just wasn't himself... Maybe like he said, he's into this routine thingy so he's kinda bored.. After msging him, I was thinking, being too free ain't that good either... I mean, I'm at the other extreme end.... mugging & mugging & mugging hard....... I mean, I keep reading at all times...

When I was smsing Hezwan, it made me think of all the stuff that some of my guy friends said... Some of them would just sleep whenever they hit home.... I remember those days when Darwin would be at home sleeping...That fella, really sleep... And one of the other stuff that we'll do would be talk on the phone till late nites.... I think it was then that I started talking to ppl at night...... And I mean super late.... Like till 5 am or so.... I know.... It's crazy. But honestly, it was fun............

And there's this other ppl, more like players.... Every week when they are back from camp, they'll be dating girls... It would be dating a different gal every week...


From experience, the NS days would either one would be attached or detached... Cuz, for one, its like a major test for the relationship & on the other extreme end, well, they are just too tired to look for girls.... All that they can think of would be to sleep.... Haiz.............


Hey, look at the time.. Gosh... I gotta go.... I'm going out again later tonight..... Keep ya updated soon........

Back in school....

Yup... Its me again.. I'm back... In school.. Kinda boring though...

Right now i'm kinda drained though... I guess they took too much blood from me on Sat... This time I'm sitting beside Sab... Sabie.....

Looks like the hols revision are paying up... Remembering wats Monetory & fiscal policy.. Expansionary, contractionary...... U can say that I spent Monday for PW, tues I watched Cinderrella Story..... Wed, Thurs & Fri ..... Studying, studying, studying..... Sat... Had intentions to meet Big Guy but after the blood donation thingy, I was a bit blur blur... U know... A bit dazing..... So I decided to go home... I mean to be on the same side.... Before I fall at the train tracks.. Then the headlines goes.... " A GIRL FELL IN THE TRACKS AT ALJUNIED MRT" Hahahaha!!!!


Anyway, as I was studying at EXPO, I did a little exploration over there... Gosh!! Its totally deserted... I mean, nobody will know if U make out in the toilet... And the staircase that leads to the roof.... WOW!!! TOTALLY DESERTED... So to all the couples out there, if u guys don't know a spot, try visiting EXPO not during those exhibition hours... Its a good spot..


Compared to 'K' , uhm....... 'K's good in its own way. U know what I mean..... But I don't wanna talk about 'K' right now...


I went to sch today feeling a little dazed... Maybe its Monday blues... I don't know.... It's more like boring Monday.....


On Sat, ard 6 pm, my mom & I went out to Yishun.... And I was only a couple of blocks away from blk 148... Yes... Blk 148..... I kept things cool so I didn't do anything irrational.... I mean, hey why on earth would I wanna storm into his place.... I mean, geez, if he's married then... Argh! Though I'm still unsatisfied that he left me... Without any explaination...


I learnt something about me after that relationship... I won't go away without an explaination.... That was why I insist that Wan must give me a reason before we ' WENT SEPARATE WAYS'. And I respect your decision. It's only better if such a thing was done... Its like you have an unanswered burning question in you when someone leaves you without an explaination... The big Y? That's all....

On the contrary, I mean, even though he left me without any explaination, I feel that it was better... I mean, we have a clean break & only to find out that he left you for another girl.. Considering the fact that we were together for almost 4 years... That'll be saddening.... I wouldn't know how I could ever get back on my feet if that happens to me....


Jo asked me how on earth I managed to stay focus on my life after what had happened to me... Hey, life goes on.... Even you wanna stop the things around you changes, you can't. Things happen for a reason... Maybe from Darwin's relationship there's things that I am fated to learn from... And yet, I feel that that method is very harsh......


I know, they always say that breaking up is never easy... Only time can heal all wounds...


I look at myself now and I reflect what has happened to me for the whole of this year... I would say that I've gone thru some rough edges... School's school... Social life is so so... I guess this year I've not really gone out with people like Linda, Mun & Sab cuz they're sitting for their 'A's... I mean except that time that Mun, Sab & I came back from Deena's wedding.... Other than that, nah...... As for my old good friends, we've gone out a couple of times & everytime it was fun..... I mean meeting old friends are great.......


I miss Hema though.... Met her at MSN that night.... great to talk to old friends...


Speaking of old friends, I know that ASSUMPTIONS are the mother of all fuck ups, well I'm getting this inferiority thingy whenever I msg Big_Guy...... Whatever it is, I hope that its not it...


I guess the exams are getting the better out of all of us... Making people think beyond our minds can take.... To the extend of being too self-consicious...


I was talking to Rachel today, about appearences.... Maybe I appear to look like a snob but I'm not... Maybe I wear a visor & ppl start being judgemental... Becuz I hide my face... I think the reason why I'm wearing a visor is that I wanna protect my eyes... The visor will kinda put it in the shade... And esp so when I drive.... Try driving in the sun.. Urgh! And I'm kinda broke to get myself shades..... Maybe I'll buy a plain cap & I'll design it myself... There's loads I can do with that sewing machine of mine... RIGHT SIS?? Khekhekhekhekhekhe!!!!!!!!!!!!


Hey, it 5pm already. I gotta get home.... Do a little studying, practice VOCAB & watch FRIENDS... Today's the last episode....


Catch ya later....

(",)

CRY....

Now i feel like crying... Cuz watever i typed before was gone..


Was msning Hema jus now & it whatever I spilled out was gone...


I don't know whether I can recall what I typed...

Argh!!!!!

Yah...

I think i'm going thru alot... I thought I can cope with it but I can't.... Been beaten up too much... Not literally...

Have u ever thought that u'll stand strong.... Even after what had happened, u believe in urself & stand strong... But like any other statue, I guess things inside will eat u up... Darwin always told me that its not good to bottle things up..... I mean, I sub-consciously bottle em up... Whenever I keep quiet, it doesn't mean I'm cool or I'm dazing.. I'm thinking.... And I think I think too much.... Way too much...

I keep telling myself that I gotten over Darwin but why in the world am I still talking about him? Y am I reading my old books that contains him inside? I think I've just put him aside... Not wanting to deal with it cuz it'll be too time consuming... That's y I've chucked it one side....

Last night I had a dream about someone... I didn't mean to think of u like that but it just happened... Maybe I've been watching FRIENDS too much...

Last night, I had a mood swing... No I'm not pregnant... Its just pre-promo's stress... For one, my date with my Econs notes didn't go well.... Kinda confusing.... What do u expect from Econs...

Anyway, something just made me think about THOSE days... U know... THOSE days.... And that's when I dreamt about u.... I went to my little note book & BAM!!!! That pang was back..... I read it all over again.... Then I closed the book & lie on my bed... In the dark... Feeling so lonely.....

I don't know y I'm feeling so low... Super low... Was it becuz of the feeling that I still have for u? I told myself over & over again that I've thrown them away out the window... Never wanting to fall in love cuz I've not gotten over the first one....

I can't totally say that I've gotten over totally over Darwin but I just don't think I'll ever think of getting into a relationship... May it be serious or not... Whatever it is... I can say that I'm having a phobia about relationships.... And starting one isn't that easy to come by...


Here's a question for all my readers....

IS SINGLEHOOD A BLESSING OR A CURSE?

I know u ppl r gonna say that I must be optimistic & all... And considering the fact that I've been in 2 relationships in my whole life..... U can say that I'm a gonner.... And to top it off, i have a phobia remember....

Right now, what I need is a hug from that someone.... Who specifically I honestly don't know.... Just that person who could lend me his listening ear & giving me a huggie when I need it the most.....

Darwin's gone.....

:-[

Its raining Its pouring....

Yup... Its raining outside... My legs are wet... the rain came in..... Argh!!!

Right now I'm stuck in the library... With my GPF.... Need to evaluate the article badly.... Its not so bad though.... Just need some brushing up.....

Monday I'm going to Urban Pooch.... Sunday I'm going to the SKC show... All for the sake of PW................. OUCH!! There goes my chest burns again... Been getting them for quite some while now.. I guess I'm too stressed out... Loads of stuff happening to me.... Like I told Big_Fella, I've been wacked up pretty badly... Left, right, top, bottom & centre... And its all school work....

Its raining heavily outside.... What's good to do now is to SLEEP!!!! I'm serious!! Snuggling underneath the comfy comforter... Snuggle... Snuggle... Snuggle.... Argh!!!

I'm staring at Mmy GPF now... Its saying " EVALUATE ME! EVALUATE ME! " Ok D! Stop hallucinating!!!! Stuff going on.... Argh!!!!

And Yes Nad!!! I owe u a LARGE WHIPPED POTATO....... U're gonna get them k... Remember that patience is the virtue of life....

OK now... I'm gonna go for blog-hopping right now... Catch ya later....



:p

School HolidaZe....

Hey Yah... Me doing this from home... Trying my luck with the comp...

Been dazing 2 days straight... I don't know wats wrong with me.... And with this major huge pimple that is super red on my nose. It's sickening...

Yesterday's teachers' day concert was ok. Man sang Dashboard Confessional's Vindicated..... Expect for the 'That Thing U Do' song... It was a catastrophy... Those who sang it made a fool out of themselves.... Saw Nigel trying to pull Salid to sing instead of the 'Echo Boys' ppl...But too bad, time was running out... Salid didn't sing after all....

Thinking of this year's teachers' day celebration, it reminded me of last year's 'Staff Day cum Sports Day'... It was FUN!!! Hahah!!!! People who knows wat I mean by this would be grining.... Hey it was fun...

By the time I got back, I was dazing & watching TV... SMSing Hezwan along the way.... Heard that fella met with a minor accident with a Merc... I know, I know... Merc ..... He rolled back & his rover hit the bumper of the Merc...

I got the tix for the North concert at Zouk... Now I'm contemplating of going or not.. There's gonna be a dog show at EXPO on that day... I intend to go cuz I'm afraid there's not enough stuff for Sean to put into the report... Maybe do some interview.. I asked JT whether she wanna go & she said she'll see.... I mean, if she doesn't wanna go, maybe I'll ask Jo to go with me... I mean, I can't possibly go alone... And preferably a Chinese friend to come along.... I do plan to bring my cam along....

Hey, maybe I'll catch u later... Tomorrow maybe..... See how... The relief teacher for MGT is back so I don't know whether I have any free time in school to write.... And bear in mind that I end school at 5.15pm tomorrow...