Better late then never

Salam aidilfitri penuh keiklasan
Dendam di hati disimpan jangan
Salah dan silap pohon dimaafkan
Moga silaturahim kekal berpanjangan
Dengan ingata tulus ikhlas
- mIsS_D -


My schedule is packed to the max with things... Exam's around the corner.. Suffering from terrible migraines. I appreciate your concern, you know who you are...

Can't talk much because the things that are on my mind..

1) Taxation notes that have yet to be completed, 4 more chapters to go.. ciayo!
2) Law test that is due this Friday, doing more reading abt corporate governance,
3) Sunday's Hari Raya Marathon... 3 cars going plus 3 or 4 bikes, something like that... wondering how it will turn out....
4) Wondering how I am going to survive for the revision that takes place during the weekends...
5) Someone owes me dinner but it keeps getting postphone due to busy schedule. Hhhhhmmmmm....


When the photo's out from my Raya collection, I'll pin it up here.. There's gotta be some really interesting pix here... Keep watching!

Getting the FEEL.....

Apparently its only now that I can feel the RAYA mood setting in. Even though my house is in complete mess, I just seek refuge in my room and BAM! I totally feel it. What's left would be to iron my kebayas and it will be all set..

Thank goodness last Dec I painted my room. So, the mess in my room is still bearable & I just have to clear some things to make my room spick & span. And the colour is beige, my fav colour. Initially I wanted to paint it red or green, like bright tones but I changed my mind while picking the colours because I'm they type of person who would like calm & soothing things. And during the exam stress period, I badly need that calamity & soothingness...

This year, its going to be the 4th year in running that I will not be receiving a wonderful Hari Raya card. The one that's especially written to me, with lots of love & sincerity. Haiz! Those days of which people will decide on the same colour of baju kurungs together. Those were the days...

Suprisingly, till today, no one can really please me that well. I'm a tough girl alright. Yes I can play the same game if you play the same game but when its a serious one, please don't kid me...

A long time ago, I would definately want to settle down, have little 'devils' running around and be happy. Spend my mornings with him playing with my hair, or admiring me while I sleep. And how well he fits into your body, every curve & angle. Knowing how well your hands fits into his palm. And when you have your kids running around, never failing to make you laugh.. When you have found that special somone, it will all be perfect.

But when I look at it(marriage) again, I think I would be missing alot of things if I continue with that initial plan. RIght now, I find that I'm more afraid of settling down then ever. Why is that so? Because there's alot of RESPONSIBILITY that goes along with it. And all your obstacles that you would be facing when one enters into that stage of life. OMG! I am so unprepared. And I thought I was before.. Gheez. And lets not talk about childbirth YET..

Things that I want to achieve in life before I enter that other stage in life;

1) Continue with my education
2) Buy my MINI COOPER
3) Earn big bucks before I turn 35
4) Continue looking out for people who might interest me.
-> I have yet to meet someone who loves to travel, enjoys the outdoor (meaning trying out alot of incredible things that have the thrill factor), never fails to make me laugh, good chemistry (VERY IMPT) & loves me for what I am.
5) When I've finally earn all that I want, I'll settle down with the right guy (if I EVER meet him), stop working as an accountant & start with my own bridal business

Its coming

A couple of things that I've gotta say...

1) I'm going out with the girls tonight. Yeah!
2) Jo, I miss u too. We ought to meet up soon before u head off to East Timor.
3) My one & only dearest Herbert, thanks ALOT for last night. You're the best!

Ok, that's the 3 most important things that I've gotta say.

Raya menjelang tapi I still don't have that festive mood setting in yet. Why is that so? I don't know. Maybe its because of all the things that's going on in my life right now. I've got no time to sit & enjoy the mood.

Hopefully the mood will set in soon. I pray hard that it will...

Stop being a prisoner in your own prison

There has been alot of things going thru my mind lately. But I'm blessed to know that things are going to be slightly different here. And I'm gonna be alright. No worries.

Went to buka with Ma' Crew yesterday at Es Teler Cineleisure. Had a blasted time being with them. As always. This time, instead of talking of old times & stuff, we were playing guessing games. The ones my cousins & I will play when we were travelling from LA to San Diego in the Amtrack train. The kind of games that you play when you either have to break the ice or just to pass time. Yup, those kind of games.

Anyway, speaking of talking about old times, we all were suprised with some news that we heard. But it is yet to be confirmed. And someone said that next time, for class gatherings, it would have to include children. The only thing my conscience was telling me was that we haven't ever passed the bring your boyfriend stage yet & now, we have to bring our kids. OMG!! Time passes by so fast. Some of our classmates are married with children..

Its amazing when you've got friends who care about you, lends you the helping hand and just be there for you whenever you need them. They love me, which explains the urgency to get hold of me immediately, whether it be thru a phone call, msn or even text msges. Ahh... The wonders of technology..

Those who have been there for me, thanks for being part the journey of my life.

Beating the crap out of me

Went for buka with 3 other girls yesterday after class. It was alright. And there was a sharing session later on after dinner. Sha left early as she was going to visit her friend's dad who was hospitalised. When we heard the bad news, sebak bila nak buka..

I'm still buried somewhere underneath my schoolwork. I'm just waiting for someone to pull me out from it. I'm just there, working & working & working... Alot of things are on my mind and I don't know how to clear it all up.. And the more I continue burying myself with work, the more I feel that I'm running away clearing up my mind.

And yah, there's a high chance that I'm calling it off....

Back after ages

Hey there. I know that its been ages since i've updated this. Been busy doing alot of things lately. And there's actually LOADS of photographs to be uploaded but there something wrong with my photo transfer. Anyway, i'm still looking into rectifying that problem.

How's my life been lately if you're asking, well alot has been going on. My school work is burrying me to the maximus. And if i've class the whole day, i'll end up being a ZOMBIE by the time i get back too. And when i start doing my work, i'll forget my meals but I have Simon to constantly remind me to eat.

How is he if you're asking, well he's there, somewhere. Busy flying. But its kinda great that he's away cuz I can concentrate on my schoolwork. The last sweetest thing that he did was to give me tix to the fireworks display over at the pontoon. It was great... And the crowd that I had to go thru...

Other then that, life has been ok.. There's alot of blessing in disguise. :)

I've got another confession to make...

I've got another confession to make...

The reason why I've not updated is because something great had happened in my life right now. Though there has to be a little sacrifices here & there, but its worth it. Not really that much fuss so its alright however sometimes, it needs a little shaking up..

My sistaz knows abt it. And they went like YANNNNNAAAAAAAA........... Totally FLY *hint hint* Ok, right now, the agreement is simple.

Alright, gtg & catch my rest. NITE!

Human are complexed individuals

Work-in-prgress

And I sometimes feel that I'm a major GUNDU BLUR like SOTONG. Talk about me being a student accountant. Ya right.. When these kind of things are right before my very eyes, I'm blur as KUKU. Sometimes I feel that relationships should be as clear as numbers. I know, I know, human are complexed individuals thus having a complexed manner in having relationships. Ok, some can call me tactless when it comes to dealing with people. Sometimes, I feel that relationships should be like numbers, which are obvious. Straight to the point. No need for any explainations. But no, relationships have to be like LAW. Got to draw diagrams to clearly analyse the situation. There's this GREY area. Unlike accounting, its either black or white. Simple.



Sentosa trip was cool even though initially I didn't feel like going. Alot was going through my mind the whole time we were out. Plus there was the NDP rehersals. Imagine Nor eyeing me like she has x-ray vision & trying to read my mind everytime the planes fly by while I will just look at the sea & pretending that its such a beautiful scene. Hehehehehehe!

What if

Alot of things are going thru my mind at the moment. About school, my upcoming results, my buggingly aching headache, these are just a few.. There are other things that's on my mind. Wish it would all GET OUT! OUT! OUT!

Going to Sentosa tmr but nah.. Not really excited about it though... Its not because of someone but I just don't forward to it anymore.

Alright, yacking nonsense right now...GTG

Sentosa this WEEKEND

Well, these few days have been quite a yoyo. I'm very busy with school. Doing more reading than I've ever had. I've got tutorials this time round so sometimes, my Saturdays are spent going to school. Ya, there goes my no study on weekends policy.

Ma' Crew have been doing great. We caught Transformers the last time. And if you've guessed it right, we are going to Sentosa again this weekend. All 10 of us. Too bad my cam's not working. What a shame. I've gotta get those shots from Nor this time round. Usually its the other way around... Sis, angkat bola eh...

I've been a little under the weather lately. I don't know whether its the weather,or its the sick season or its the workload. This usually happens unexpectedly. Just as I was getting my momentum...

Anyway, I spent my last Sun, sitting at home, reading the last installement of the Harry Potter book. Gonna read it again cuz the first round of reading was the excited wanna get to know what happened kind of reading. So I've might have missed the little bits & pieces. For those who have been reading it from book 1, you'll realised that the book is actually dedicated to us & by reading this last installment, you'll get the WHOLE picture. And did I mention that I like the ending & I finally found out what's Ginny's real name. Hehehe!

Ron+ Hermione = Rosie + Hugo
Harry + Ginny = James + Albus Severus + Lily


Shalln't say much now. Gotta get ready for school....

YouthWreck @ Timbre

YouthWreck @ Timbre Part 2

Back fromTimbre

Here I am, reporting after last night at Timbre.

It was alright. Totally like a bar concept. And if people like Sha or Nor came, they totally won't feel left out. There was LOADS of girls in tudung sitting around there. Anyway, it was more of coming down to support Fadil. Not there with other objectives in mind right?

The bands who performed was inititally boring but bands after Fadil's bands were good. Some were awesome. Like very good vocal projections & with proper diction. Will be uploading the video that was taken by dearest Wati on her N73. Bless that girl for having such a wonderful phone :)

Why is it that the high stool chairs that they have are so uncomfortable to be sat on if someone seats on it for more then 2hrs? By 10pm, Shannen, Wait & myself were plain tired from sitting. I ended up standing for a while Wati kept swithching chairs between the stool & the high chair. Shannen was like shaking her legs more often. Hahahaha! Signs of restlessness. And the best part was that Fadil & Hashim left to relax outside of Timbre because they also couldn't tahan the heat, loud music & sweaty people drinking. Baik!

When I got back, I was totally beat. I think it was more of beat from sitting on that chair rather than any other type of tiredness. I really don't understand how people can tahan in that kind of environment. And on top of that, it was smokey & with people drinking. Imagine what kind of damage it can do to your skin. Man, that's bad....

Bumped out...

Its like almost midnight and I can't sleep. Here I am, part lying on my lappy in my tanks, part snuggling under the comforters, typing away because I can't sleep. If anyone sees this, they wouldn't believe that its me.

Heading down to Timbre for Fad's gig. The monty crew will be there. Too bad I can't take pictures. My cam's not functioning & I've gotta fork out $200 to fix it. ARRRRGGGHH!!!

Anyway, yesterday, I was out with Herbie. He was just plain bored & I was back from the Olympus office, regarding my camera that's NON-FUNCTIONING.

Anyway, back to where I was, Yes, Mr Giant. When I walked by him, there's like a gap between us, in terms of height. And I had to speak slightly louder because I'm way down here while he's way up there. So I ended up having to speak louder. People might look at this little malay girl walking together with this GOLIATH next to me but I couldn't care less. Just enjoyed my company with this fantastic fella.

But what really got my blood boiling was when we were at Coffee Bean Paragon. He was accompanying me while I was waiting for my mom. Told him that it was not necessary for him to stay with me while I waited for my mom but him being a gentleman, wouldn't leave me. Anyway, back at Coffee Bean Paragon, when I was getting a seat while he got himself a drink, he told me that there was a group of female waitress was laughing at both of us when we got in. Maybe they were telling a joke & we coincidentally walked in the cafe. I don't know. So I'll just leave it at that. But when he told me that something fishy was going on over the counter, as if they were talking about us. Maybe they thought that we were couple. Herbie told me that when they took his order, the girls were being overzealously polite. Get the hint? Well, Herbie being Herbie, he's calm as ever... But even so, its not as though that they've never seen a couple with different races? Hello?! Singapore is a multi-racial country with the highest rate of mixed marriages. DUH?! *eyes rolling*

So does that mean that over those periods where I've studied with Lawrence at the library, people might think that we were a couple? Is this why Herbie kept telling me to quit hidding behind Lawrence while studying in the library?

Maybe I've been alone way too long. Not seeing anyone or having attempts in opening my radar. That is why I'm plain oblivious to the environment around me. And I can't get the slightest hint about any guy who tries to get my attention. Like I've said, just a plain GUN when it comes to these kinda of things.

My camera died on me

Here I am, typing away at 12mn. Something terrible has happened. My cam died on me. For no apparent reason. Been trying to get it to work but it can't. Which means that I've gotta go & sent for a fixing. I'm so irritated by it. Looks like for this weekend, I've gotta rely on my hp cam, which has a 2.0 mega pixel. AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

Waiting for Herbie's call. He said that he'll call me after my Criminal Minds. And he's not calling me yet... Hmmm... Maybe he fell asleep on the couch? Or maybe he himself is watching something good on tv. Or maybe he's playing this xbox. Deeply engrossed in his game. Let me tell you something, that guy can practically glue himself to his games alright. ;)

Won't write much for now. Still thinking of my cam. AAARRRGGHHH!! Hey, I love that fella alright. How could that happen to me. Its finishing is one of the best. And its so compact. Just as I was thinking of bringing it for Sat's show @ Timbre...

Alright people, gtg. Chao!!!

Growing Up

Does it mean that we have to be responsible in our thinking?
Or does it mean that we are given the opportunity to do some responsible thinking? Which is it?

I'm not only talking about parents giving us the opportunity to learn. It applies to boyfriends, girlfriends & friends too.

If we as kids are sheltered too much from our parents, I doubt we'll be learning some learning experiences. Don't tell me that you'll seek refuge at your parent's place whenever there's problems? Life experiences is hard but there's no easy way out. Without it, don't you think that they'll ever call it life experiences.They say, learn from mistakes. But as an individual with the brains given by god, use it. It has to be a reason why its there. Some mistakes are just plain JACKASS stupidity. Others, well, it's unavoidable. Which is why, as an individual, gauge yourself. Know your limits. Set your boundaries. Choose your company wisely. These are the only thing that will mould you to what you are. Coupled with proper guidance from your parents & your teachers, you'll be a great individual.

I have to say that I'm blessed that my parents are very supportive of what I do. And I thank them for loving me when I'm very sick & when I'm fit. And now that I'm older, I feel that my parents have successfully brought me up well. Its funny how they inculcate certain values & morals into me when I was growing up. And somehow, it helped moulded me into what I am today. I do am grateful to have them as my parents. I thank them for allowing me to make mistakes too.

I feel that right now, as an individual, I have to say that things are given to me from a different perspective. Its like photography, where if you shoot from a different angle, you get a different lighting. Its the same as you see things right now. When I look at my life right now, I feel thankful for Darwin for letting me go. Thanks for letting me learn some things which I doubt I would have learnt if it didn't happened. As for Hezwan, well, thanks for being such a gentleman. After loads that had happened to us, you're still talking to me. All these falls into the boyfriends category where mistakes would have to be learnt without any shelter. It helps in making a stronger, wiser, sensitive yet emphathetic individuals.

My friends have also made me what I am today. They say that the friends that you made in your teen years are the ones who'll turn out to be friends for life. And you know why, these are the people whom you've spent most your time with while you were growing up. After all those hours of togetherness resulted to a bond that's like super glue with industrial strength. It definately develop you somehow. Maybe developing a concern for someone, the need to have a sense of belonging, the ability to tackle a rough spot tacfully or the toughest one being breaking them any bad news or advising them on some sensitive issues. Hopefully these can be a guide for upcoming life's expectations.


I've always say that I'm fat & ugly, so that's why there aren't guys going go-go ga-ga over me. I have to say that guys, well, after mixing long enough with them, they are the aesthetic people. Think of sex & you get the picture. What's on the inside is not a major concern. Sometimes, when I'm with my guy friends, they'll endlessly tell me that its unbelievable that I can't get attached for the past 4 years because they say I am chatty, friendly & talk with sense. But when I look at it, its more like they just like my company. That's all.

And right now, when I think about getting attached again, I'm afraid. Afraid that I'll make the same mistakes again. Sometimes you try your best to not repeat the mistakes but it happens, no matter how hard you try to avoid it. I feel that if i'm attached, I'll turn into this horrid witch who's very authocratic. I'm afraid I might be too possesive. I'm afraid that I would not be sensitive towards him. I'm afraid that I might not spent enough time with him. I'm afraid I can't meet him during my busy schedule. I'm afraid that he might not like the real me. The me when I'm sick or in my nonsensical self or pms-ing period. I'm afraid that I might be burdening him.

I don't know, maybe I should give myself a chance, give love a chance. Its still out there...

Funny that things can't be ceteris paribus

After talking to Herbie, it made me realise how a GUN I am when it comes to guys. Yes, its apparent to all that I'm chatty, very easy to talk to guys. Ya, that's one thing. But to a guy who u've grown interest with, that's when I'm a little SHY. Yes, its hard to believe that I'm shy. But its true...

It looks like Herbie has been trying a new plan to GET ME ATTACHED. He is the sweetest guy ever. Ever since I've been studying at the library, he has been trying to get me to quit hiding behind Lawrence so that a guy will come forward to me. And to make it worst, you wouldn't wanna know what I wore whenever I go studying. Tees with berms or capris or jeans & my Crocs. That's about it. Nothing more. Super slack.

Anyway, the other time, when a guy starts a conversation with me, well, initially I thought that he was just asking out of courtesy. But it seems that this fella's friend's been promoting him in our conversations. And its just now that I'm realising it. SUPER THE GUN I really am. After talking to Herbie, well he said " Come on lah, take the chance. Its not as if some guy would fall from the sky for you. There's no harm in getting to know a guy better. "
In some ways, what Herbie said is true. I'm not gonna correct him . It seems that even though I've known him for about a yr, he knows me better then any guy I've ever known. He's like the guy version of Amu. The fella who I can read between his laughter, look, lines & anything that you can think of without a single peep coming out of his mouth, He's sweet, great & damn tall... Girls, if your single & at least 1.7m, contact me so that I can intro you to this sweet guy...


And apparently, because now that both of us are free, he is devising a plan for me to date. I've given up ways for him to stop the plan but it doesn't work. So I just give up. Whatever goes, goes. If people ask, I'll just say that someone who is very concern about me is trying me to set up with a guy. Can't stop it cuz whatever ways I've tried, there's no way because he's big, tall & persistent.. And he has his ways to get it done even if I say no. He told me that we should look it like this, a favour. He's just concerned. That's all...

Funny how things work out. Back then, I've tried to get some of my gfs, who were single then, to get to know some of my guy friends. Now, its me on the receiving end. Now I know how it feels. Anxious, shy & nervous. That's all.. Nothing much...

I know that my previous entry says that I like things ceteris paribus but look at it now. Nothing is constant. Ha...