Mr Cinderella

First & foremost, when I wrote this entry, I was deprieved from sleep for a night.. Imagine someone sleeping for abt 1 hr at night & another 45 mins later in the mrng before she got back to doing her usual things...


Went out with my Mr Cinderella this mrng... It was an incredible outing... Even though my eyes were dead tired, I just stuffed myself with coffee at Mac East Coast... It was fun... And guess what Mr Cinderella said, "U drive like ur scared of driving..." Monster!!!!

How it went ? Well lets just say that I met him at ard 3 after his session. Then we headed to Mac East Coast to get coffee cuz I so very needed it... When I met him, he looked WAY different then before he was in NS.. And I really liked the new look.. The messy grunge rugget look... Its funny though that what appears to be so rough in texture & all was actually soft & conforting...

We got a spot at East Coast to chill... He was my Mr Cinderella for the night... For some reason, he's not going to be the same when dawn breaks & the spell is broken. We had some really fun stuff. Seriously, its only with him that I do LOADS of crazy stuff... What's new & unusual? Anyway, when we were together, we had a heart to heart talk about stuff that was bothering both us most & stuff...

When were together, he was just WONDERFUL! Everything was great... And the best part about me & Mr Cinderella, we can ask each other ANYTHING & we'll be honest about it.. He even can read what's lying between the lines in our converation... And he has his ways to help me out when I really need it the most. There's lots of reasons why I like him.

1) He can make me smile
2) He knows what I'm thinking
3) He knows what I'm going thru - being emphathetic
4) He's always there when I fall
5) He knows that I'm like a wall, appearing strong & steady but no one ever knows what goes on with/in me...


And at this stage, he knows that all that feelings I have for him is all buried & cemented deep in me & there's gonna be some way, good or bad, for me to built a door or just drill through that cemented wall... And getting it all out....

I know, he sounds like the guy for me.. But it can never happen... I know I've said that our relationship in the past was just short & painless, I realised that it isn't true... It was too painful that I just kept quiet about it & buried them deep in me with work & books... Like they say, what lies beneath...

Remember when I said that I'll never fall in too deep in a relationship cuz I know that when its all over, i'll ever recover from it.. It was only today that I realised that he & I go back a long way. Way before Darwin was even my bf. I didn't know why it took me so long to realise it. That the secret that I kept since I was 14 was going to end up like this.. And now, I've known him as long as he knew his bestfriend. Its that long & we go way back. Like about 9-10 yrs.. Its long alright.. And I ask myself, why did I did this to my life... This time round, it has gotten way too deep then I can ever expect & seriously don't know how to get out from it.....


What am I to say here? That I've messed up with things right now? It can never work out.. I told myself beforehand that it WOULDN'T work but why does he still knocks on my door? It can never be REAL!!!!!! This challenge.. IS TOUGH... How am I to take it? Can I survive it...

Yes he's gonna be there for me irregardless of how many yrs will pass by. Its just so messed up SO BAD that I really don't know how to fix it... And no amount to work can ever escape this large heap of problem ...

Mr Cinderella, no matter how many comfort cuddles & hugs you can ever give me, there's nothing you can do. You're in your world while I'm here in mine... These two worlds can never become one...