CRY....

Now i feel like crying... Cuz watever i typed before was gone..


Was msning Hema jus now & it whatever I spilled out was gone...


I don't know whether I can recall what I typed...

Argh!!!!!

Yah...

I think i'm going thru alot... I thought I can cope with it but I can't.... Been beaten up too much... Not literally...

Have u ever thought that u'll stand strong.... Even after what had happened, u believe in urself & stand strong... But like any other statue, I guess things inside will eat u up... Darwin always told me that its not good to bottle things up..... I mean, I sub-consciously bottle em up... Whenever I keep quiet, it doesn't mean I'm cool or I'm dazing.. I'm thinking.... And I think I think too much.... Way too much...

I keep telling myself that I gotten over Darwin but why in the world am I still talking about him? Y am I reading my old books that contains him inside? I think I've just put him aside... Not wanting to deal with it cuz it'll be too time consuming... That's y I've chucked it one side....

Last night I had a dream about someone... I didn't mean to think of u like that but it just happened... Maybe I've been watching FRIENDS too much...

Last night, I had a mood swing... No I'm not pregnant... Its just pre-promo's stress... For one, my date with my Econs notes didn't go well.... Kinda confusing.... What do u expect from Econs...

Anyway, something just made me think about THOSE days... U know... THOSE days.... And that's when I dreamt about u.... I went to my little note book & BAM!!!! That pang was back..... I read it all over again.... Then I closed the book & lie on my bed... In the dark... Feeling so lonely.....

I don't know y I'm feeling so low... Super low... Was it becuz of the feeling that I still have for u? I told myself over & over again that I've thrown them away out the window... Never wanting to fall in love cuz I've not gotten over the first one....

I can't totally say that I've gotten over totally over Darwin but I just don't think I'll ever think of getting into a relationship... May it be serious or not... Whatever it is... I can say that I'm having a phobia about relationships.... And starting one isn't that easy to come by...


Here's a question for all my readers....

IS SINGLEHOOD A BLESSING OR A CURSE?

I know u ppl r gonna say that I must be optimistic & all... And considering the fact that I've been in 2 relationships in my whole life..... U can say that I'm a gonner.... And to top it off, i have a phobia remember....

Right now, what I need is a hug from that someone.... Who specifically I honestly don't know.... Just that person who could lend me his listening ear & giving me a huggie when I need it the most.....

Darwin's gone.....

:-[